Keeping Your Team Strong (Part 3 of 3): Coaches

Coaches

When it comes to keeping a team strong through the course of a long season, a coach could be the make or break.  Coaches have a responsibility to manage parents, players, administrators, practices, & schedules in such a way that their team is able to compete throughout the year.  Here are a few ways that coaches can help keep their team strong throughout the year.

Communicate

     With Players:  No doubt a player’s play time will vary over the season, or their responsibilities increase/diminish.  If a coach is going to keep his team strong, then he needs to make time to talk to players often about their roles, responsibilities, and concerns.  It would be great if each player would just do what they’re told and give their all while doing it, but the fact is – that doesn’t happen.  A coach needs to manage emotions, egos, and understand outside influences when it comes to players.  He/She then needs to listen to their players, help them work through mental/emotional issues, and while still maintaining the understanding that you are the coach and you have to do what’s best for the team and the player.

     With Parents:  Parents are creatures of emotion just as much as players.  No matter how many times they tell you differently, the fact is – they want to see their athlete succeed.  Understanding what the parents mean by this is critically important to maintaining a good relationship with them, and their athlete.  If you never talk to parents, or listen to their concerns, then you could be setting yourself up for a big problem at the end of the year.  Encourage them to talk to you, but take the time to talk to them.  Don’t just tell them how much you love their athlete – show them.  Your actions will speak louder than your words, but your words and actions must line up – that’s called integrity.  The coach who wins the parents heart will have a much better chance at winning the athletes heart, and when you win both, you have created a foundation upon which you can build great things – as long as you continue to communicate with them.

Properly Correct

     Just being honest – this is a difficult one for me.  I see things in one light as a coach, a parent sees it in a different light, and a player sees it in a different light altogether.  Correcting is a delicate issue.  A coach must know when to correct softly, forcefully, individually, and as a team.  They must also know when to show mercy & grace.  This requires hard work and humility, and only those willing to put in the effort will succeed in properly correcting his/her teams or players.

     A coach must also realize the importance of understanding each player and how that player needs to be corrected.  Some will be just fine with getting yelled at, but others need a more silent approach.  It’s important to take time getting to know your parents/players so you can understand how each one should be corrected.  If you are going to yell, then you must make sure to not make it personal, embarrass, or publicly humiliate.  It’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, but you have to learn to let go.  At the end of the day, no matter how highly you think of a player, they are still a kid/teenager with real emotions.  It’s important that you maintain a balance of vocal correction & physical correction (i.e., running/push-ups/etc…).  Otherwise, a player will start to despise you and you will start to see a wedge driven between your team when they need unity the most.  Never forget, a loss never killed anybody.  It’s more important to properly teach athletes then it is to win.  You can’t do that if you are always caught up in the moment.

     You must also encourage them as much as possible.  It is a lot easier for your correction to be seen than it is for your encouragement.  This just means you have to work twice as hard to show a player your love & appreciation so that they understand you really care for them as people – not just players.  The coach who wins his/her players heart will be more effective than the coach who ignores his/her players.

Go the Extra Mile

     A coach must continue to work on getting better as a coach if he/she is going to earn the respect of their team.  The team that sees a coach putting in the time to communicate, adjusts on the fly, practices patience, and continues learning will respond with the same – and more!  Serve your team by going the extra mile in your coaching, and your team will go the extra mile for you!

Keeping a team strong through a season is hard work, but it’s result usually leads to a unified team.  A truly unified team is when the parents, players, & coaches put each other first in striving for each other’s best.  They have a clear vision, understand their mission, and walk in step with each other – serving each other.  When this happens the team reaches another level – they find a higher gear.  They achieve more and reach greater heights because the desire for excellence is greater than their self-ambitions.  

This team is a happy team.

This team is a winning team.

This team is a championship team.

This team is an excellent team!

Striving for Excellence,

Coach CJ

Executive Director – C.H.S.M.

www.chsmhouston.com

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Keeping Your Team Strong (Part 2 of 3): Players

Click here to read part 1

Players:

The athletes play a critical role in keeping their team strong & ready for the season.  Superstar players can help you win a game,but teams comprised of strong character and skilled players will help you prepare to win a championship.  So what can players do to help keep their team strong?

Take care of business at home & school. 

Too many times athletes hurt their teams at critical moments because they don’t get their school done, keep their grades up, or obey the rules at home.  It’s really basic – maintain your grades and don’t get in trouble at home.

Work on your game outside of practice.

                I know it can be tough to get in much practice time outside of practices/games.  However, nothing does more for a team then to a see a player help them win by using a skill that was a weakness coming into the season.  So, find extra time each week to work on a weakness, or enhance a strength. You don't pay a price to fail. You pay a price to succeed. How much are you willing to pay?

Be humble – Serve your team.

                Real champions are humble servants.  They serve their team by giving encouragement constantly, helping their teammates get better outside of the gym, pushing themselves to the max in every drill and at every game, accepting their role, and having a right attitude.  Sometimes the circumstances get rough and a player will be greatly tested.  An injury, reduction of playing time, loss of a coach or teammate, or issues at home can really hurt the psyche of an athlete.  Yet if that same athlete responds with a positive attitude and puts his thoughts and efforts on serving others, then not only will they learn some valuable life lessons, but they will become a rock of stability when the team needs it most late in the season.

Keeping our teams strong throughout the course of the season requires a lot of hard work by the parents, players, and coaching staffs.  The outcome of the season though will be largely determined by the player’s desire for excellence.  Players can be overcome by the circumstances, or they can overcome the circumstances.  It’s not our actions, but our reactions that defines the character within us.  A player’s right reaction to a long season will help the team be strong!

Keeping Your Team Strong (Part 1 of 3): Parents

Because parents, players, and coaches invest so much time, money, passion, & energy into athletics it’s easy for division to happen within teams and programs. All it takes is a persistent negative attitude, over-bearing parent, or a high-strung coach to cause fracture. It takes a team effort from your parents, players, and coaches to keep your team from falling apart during the battle of the season and it's imperative that excellent programs stay united.

So how do you keep your team strong and ready to compete in every game?

With help from your:

Parents

No doubt you are sacrificing a lot for your kids to play. A lot of times you expect a return on your money thru playing time. Much of the complaints that a coach receives is due to this one reason, and it can be a serious detriment to the team. If you really want to be about the team, then make it a rule – NO COMPLAINING ABOUT PLAYING TIME. A coach already has to deal with the inconsistencies of players during a game, player egos, and attitudes (all players have an attitude – it’s either helping the team, or hurting the team). The last thing a coach needs to be thinking about during the game is “will my parents be mad at me”. A coach cannot do his best if he always has to think about what parents think of him/her.

Now understand this, your son or daughter may deserve to play the most. They may be the best player on the team. Complaining to your coach about this though only causes a coach to take his mind off of the TEAM. You don’t know what a coach is already thinking about, or why he makes the certain decisions. However, you aren’t helping the TEAM by telling the coach how to do his job better. If it’s something that really needs to be addressed, then consider these things:

(1) Encourage your kids to overcome. Life is not fair. Teach your kids how to overcome the hard times now. This only prepares them for what they will face later in life. Whatever you do, don’t quit simply because they aren’t playing as much as you want. This example will teach your athlete to be loyal to the decisions they make.

(2) Set up a private meeting with the coach and ASK - not demand - what your athlete needs to do to EARN more playing time. Don't forget - other athletes may have worked just as hard as yours.

(3) Review how much work your athlete really is putting in. Are they making EVERY practice? Do they do specific workouts outside of practice? (FYI – playing ball at church or with your friends does not count). Are they obeying the coach’s instruction during practice & the games? Does your athlete carry themselves with a good attitude regardless of the circumstances? Are they on top of their schoolwork? If they aren't excelling at one of these items, then that could be what’s holding them back on the court.

We will do more for our teams, programs and players by teaching them how to get through obstacles, rather than away from obstacles. Stick to it – OVERCOME!

Coach CJ

Executive Director – C.H.S.M.

www.chsmhouston.com

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Persevere

There’s no doubt that this summer has been one of the toughest summers I have experienced. Between work, ministry, and trying to a good husband & father, it sometimes feels like there is more to be done than I can do – an overwhelming sense of not enough time. More than likely, you have been there too. The days are long, the nights are short, the deadlines are daily, and the list of things to do just gets longer. You feel like a caged hamster running 100 miles an hour – but going nowhere. Chances are, you probably feel like you are in the middle of a great storm and you just don’t know how much longer it’s going to last. This same scenario is what drives us to the latest self-help book, seminar, or time-management class. Yet, we still feel like we are in the middle of the storm – and it’s getting worse! This past weekend, as I was thinking about this in my own life, I asked myself this question – how does one get through the storm? Here are two things the Lord showed me.

Keep your eyes on Him.

It’s very easy to get so caught up in working and put your eyes on what is around you, rather than keeping your eyes on the One leading you. However, if you keep your eyes on Him, and follow His commands, then you won’t notice the great swells around you – you’ll only know that you are still on top of the water, not under it. (Mark 6:45-51)

Jesus cares.

It’s easy to think our hard work is for naught when we don’t get what we believe we deserve, or achieve the goals we had hoped to achieve. That’s not how God operates though. Too many times we try to tell God how and when to reward our effort, rather than accepting the fact that His timing may be different than our timing, and His reward might be different. This is not a sign that Jesus doesn’t care about us – on the contrary! God rewards us in His time, and according to His will, which is always perfect (Jer. 29:11)

Athletes, who are trying to excel, are always working on their craft. They play in summer leagues, receive individual instruction, and become students of the game. Many times it’s easy for an athlete to feel like he/she is going thru a storm. Something is always getting in the way – circumstances, coaches, or even other players. It’s also easy for them to think that they aren’t getting what they think they deserve, or what they believe they should have already achieved. It’s at these moments that an athlete’s character really comes thru – How do they respond to the tough times? The athlete who overcomes these difficulties is the one who keeps their eyes on Jesus, and knows that He really does care. When the athlete does these two things, then no matter how many times they get knocked down – they get right back up. No matter how many times they are told it isn’t worth it and to quit, they persevere because they know that God’s plan is much more rewarding than their own.

The reward for keeping your eyes on Him and understanding that He cares is God’s continued strengthening and blessing on your life. Sometimes it will be allowing you to achieve what you want to achieve. However, it will always be His perfect will, which will be more than you can ask or think.

Persevere.

Press On.

Coach CJ
Executive Director – C.H.S.M.
www.chsmhouston.com

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Objection - Rejection - Dejection

I can clearly remember the first year I started playing organized basketball.  I was ecstatic that I could play “for real” what I did so much in my back yard.  I wasn't familiar with the program, or the process, I just showed up ready to play.  I worked my tail off during those try-outs and listened intently to the coaches.  However, my name was never called when the teams were announced.  There were 5 teams that year, and I didn't make 1 of them.  The feeling of rejection was enormous – I wasn't good enough to play on 1 of the 5 teams who would play games that year.  To make it worse, I got to play on the intramural team – basically a year-long development camp.  We practiced the same time as everyone else, but we had to practice outside on unmarked cement, rusted out backboards, and no rims.  The feeling of rejection was one that lasted the entire season. 

My entire basketball career was filled with objections and rejections.  During my junior season my coach informed me that I was “on the bubble” and that I would probably end up on our varsity B team.  My younger brother made the A team and I was allowed to suit up & warm up with the team, but I would rarely see the floor.  It wasn't a rejection because I still got to participate, but it was a very strong objection because I could not participate to the same extent as everyone else on the team.  Needless to say, I wasn't a very happy player.  Although I never said anything, I made sure that my attitude said everything.  To be honest, my coach was gracious enough to let me stay on the team because my attitude alone warranted me being kicked off.  The feeling of dejection from being objected to lasted the entire season.

These are just a couple of examples from my own playing career.  Chances are that you have experienced them as well.  I’m grateful though that I had a dad who would never let me quit, and a coach who made it a point to continually try to help me.  It’s because of these experiences, and the lessons God taught me, that I was able to overcome many different work issues, death, and life changes throughout my very short career and marriage.

As a person or a player, objection, rejection, and dejection are 3 things that you will experience in life.  As a player you have more than likely experienced the feeling of getting cut or losing a starting spot.  As an adult, you have no doubt experienced a lay-off, cut in pay, divorce, or loss of a loved one.  It’s in these moments of objections and rejections that dejection begins to take root in our hearts.  These moments are like high winds and rolling waves on an open sea – you don’t think you are going to make it, and begin to sink into hopelessness.

The Apostle Peter was this way.  In Matthew 14 we find the story of Jesus walking on the water.   As Jesus is walking near the disciple’s boat they start to cry out in fear not knowing that it was their Master.  Finally, Jesus speaks in an effort to calm them.  Peter has doubts though.  He asks Jesus if he can come join Him by walking on the water from the boat.  The winds were raging and the waves were rolling, but Peter gets out of boat anyways.  As Peter begins to walk towards the Lord on the water he takes his eyes off Jesus and starts to look at his circumstances.  As the fear of the wind and waves mount up against Peter, he begins to sink. 

This is the typical life experience of every human being.  The wind and waves of objection and rejection, and the subsequent feeling of dejection cause us to lose hope – we take our eyes off the Lord.  We begin to sink in the storm of our circumstances.  We forget that the power of Jesus is so great that even the wind and sea obey him (Matt. 8:27).  We forget that during these circumstances Jesus tells us to “Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid” (Matt. 14:27).

We can’t get away from the storms of objection, rejection, and dejection in our lives. However, let me encourage you with this – instead of being fearful of the wind and waves of our circumstances – keep your eyes on Jesus. In John 16:33, Jesus says "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." Don't let the storms of life overcome you. Instead, overcome the storms. Have faith. Walk on the water.

Coach CJ

Executive Director – C.H.S.M.

www.chsmhouston.com

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Live in the Present

It’s all too easy for us to think about our past.  We see pictures from friends, reminisce at family reunions, and tell our co-workers about what we used to do.  Sometimes, we just think about we want our future to be.  I am a dreamer, and I love to think about the future and what I want it to be.  I find myself thinking about my next step (that is still 10 steps away!), or what I want for my kids 5 years down the road.  As a matter of fact, I just recently found myself thinking about past friends in Colorado and new changes for the future, but then God began to speak to me.

Now don’t misunderstand – it’s not wrong to remember our past, or put together our future goals and bucket lists.  I wonder though, do we think about these things at the expense of the present?  As I pondered this thought, the Lord started to bring a few things to my mind:

Longing to live in the past. 

All too often we step outside and smell something that reminds us of where we used to live, or we go on vacation and remember how nice it was to be closer to family, or see old friends and wish it could be “just as it used to be”.  It’s not abnormal for us to have these thoughts, nor is it wrong.  However, sometimes, I think we let these thoughts hang around so long that we begin to desire the past, instead of being grateful for where God has put us in the present.  So much so, that at times we fail to see the incredible things happening right in front of us.  Our kids making new friends and building life-long relationships, or the blessings of God in our home, or the fact that someone was moved toward God because we allowed Him to use us.  When we fail to see what’s happening right now in our lives because we are looking behind us, then we end up sacrificing our present for the past.

Desiring to skip forward to our future. 

This is something I struggle with a lot.  I have such BIG visions and lofty plans and I just want God to put them all in order right now!   Sometimes it might be in regards to a job situation, or maybe we want a new house, or we want the kids to hurry up and grow up so we don’t have change their diapers, spoon feed them, or get up with them in the middle of the night.  It's not uncommon to have these thoughts.  We want to pay the house off, get rid of the car loan, or just get away!  There’s no problem with those things – it’s natural.  You should want to get rid of your debt, and if your job situation isn't healthy for you or your family, then you should want to move.  We just can’t let these things worry us and neglect to take care of the here and now.  When we do let these thoughts dominate our thinking, we usually find that our attitude goes south.  When the attitude goes south, then usually our relationships, work, and family life go the same direction.

So how do we fix this!?!?

Be grateful for where you are. 

The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”  Your current circumstances may not be what you want them to be, or what you think they should be, but it is what it is.  God has known all along that you would be where you are today – He is not surprised!  Instead of asking the Lord to move you, or give you a new job, or resolve your financial woes – try thanking Him for his goodness and grace to you.  The will of God is to praise Him in everything we do, and everywhere you are.  If you find that difficult to do, then instead of asking God to change your circumstances, ask Him to change you and to help you realize His awesomeness around you.

Understand that God holds the future.

In Jeremiah 29:11 we find these awesome words of hope, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”  This great verse constantly reminds me that God has a plan for my future!  As long as I honor Him in all that I say and do, and obey Him when He speaks to me, then I will have a life of peace.  I may go through trials and tribulations, but because my hope is in Him, I am assured that His peace will be with me (Phil. 4:7).

It’s OK to think about our past, and sometimes it’s necessary to look at our future.  We just can’t let those thoughts dominate our mind and rob us of the present.

God has a great plan for us right now, and we don’t want to miss it!

Coach CJ

Executive Director – C.H.S.M.

www.chsmhouston.com

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Finish the Race

Almost 10,000 people will descend on Springfield, MO this week for what marks the end of the Homeschool Basketball Season - the 2013 NCHBC National Tournament. This tournament is the crown jewel of homeschool athletics and what every homeschool program wants to be in. For teams and players, this is also the finish line. This tournament marks the end of 6 long months of grueling competition & hard practices. The final exam - the measure of how far they've come during the season. As we approach this tournament It's easy for us to get the feeling of "burn-out" after a long season. Yet, this is when your character is tested - this is when you need to focus harder and finish the race strong.

Too many times in life do people get close to the end, and then quit. Most times they don't realize that if they had just kept going, for a little while longer, they would have been able to cross the finish line. Instead, we live in a culture where we want immediate gratification, a fast-food mentality so to speak. We want the race to be over as soon as we start, growth to occur without pain, and awards without hard work. What we don't realize is that God does not typically work that way - He is more of a "crock-pot" cooker - slow, steady, and true. Seldom early, but NEVER late - always on time. What we don't realize is that when we quit the race before it's over, we also stop God from producing in us the character He wishes us to have, and from achieving His greatness in us.

As we approach this week, I want to take a moment and encourage all of you - Finish Your Race.

To Mom's & Dad's: Yes, you have spent a lot of money, given up a lot of vacation time, stayed up late, shuttled kids, and had your kids shuttled. You have sacrificed SOOOO much for your child's basketball enjoyment. Stay strong for one more week. Encourage your athletes to narrow their focus on the finish line while you stay focused on the finish line as well. Don't let the frustration of all the money spent and time taken off of work detract from you enjoying your child crossing that finish line. This is the time your child needs you the most. Don't let this moment pass you by. Finish Your Race.

To Players: Your coaches have pushed you hard all year long. You have worked hard all year long too. You've suffered through embarrassing defeats, been yelled at, gone through injuries, been benched, played too much, and played too little. It has all been for this week. Your season was your preparation for this "Final Exam". This is your opportunity to show how much you have grown in your game, and grown in The Lord. This is your opportunity to be a shining light to others in your program of what excellence is, and what it takes to be great. It has been a long year, and everyone is ready for a little break - BUT, don't lose focus. Don't quit now. Your finish line is almost here. Finish Your Race.

To Coaches: You have invested so much time into your players, parents, and program during the course of this year. Sometimes at the expense of your own family, work, & checking account. Each player & parent has needed you to help them learn something. As a coach, it's easy to start thinking about your first week of no basketball in 6 months or your next season. BUT, your season isn't over yet. This is when your parents and players need you the most. Focus on them now more than you ever have. Encourage them more than you ever have. Work harder now than you have all season. The race is almost over. Finish Your Race.

To Seniors: I've saved this last paragraph especially for you. There are so many things that are going through your mind right now: am I going to college, did I get the scholarship I wanted, do I have all my graduation stuff taken care of, what do I want to major in, etc...You are also thinking about finishing out your basketball careers. Playing with your friends for the last time, and for some of you, trying to capture that elusive National Championship (I know that was the case for me!) So many things are vying for your attention, but if you really want to enjoy this week, then you need to narrow your focus and give your all one more time. This is it! The last week of your high school basketball career - make sure you step off the floor on Saturday with no regrets. Finish Your Race.

What an awesome week you are about to have! May we finish this week as Paul tells Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought a good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith:".

Finish The Race.

In Christ
Coach CJ
Executive Director
Christian Homeschool Sports Ministries

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